She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
