I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
