wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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