Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i think i scared a bird with my dick
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
50% drunk capacity currently
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
