Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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