You're a womanizer and a bitch.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
