i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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