you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Found your dick twin last night
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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