yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
