That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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