it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
