Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
