I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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