He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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