Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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