Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
