Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
