Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
