Sry I called you an 8
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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