operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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