Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
