you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
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