I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize