So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I take back everything I said about communal showers
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
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