So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
