toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Umm I'm too high to move.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
