this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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