when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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