You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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