Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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