I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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