So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
