Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
