I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
