My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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