They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
