Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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