I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
