My liver just broke up with me...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
