with your own penis?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
