Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
It was confusing and full of hummus
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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