theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
This baby is an asshole
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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