When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
