Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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