I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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