Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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