I CAN MOONWALK!
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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