I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
