SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
