I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
