I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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