he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
