she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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