hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
