FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
