I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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