i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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