But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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