At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
