Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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