how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
