How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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