I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
