I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
