I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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