I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
