Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
