evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
