Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
