Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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